What Meditation Has Taught Me

Around this time last year when the latest Apple Watch was being announced, a “Better You” ad started circulation showing a guy going from being a couch potato to an elite athlete. First he stands because his watch told him to. The he sees a better version of himself him walking to get his calorie count. The both those versions see another better version of himself running. Finally, there’s a slew of versions of him running, but the final best yet version of him sprints past them all into the ocean to go what can only be thought of as a mile long open ocean swim.

Just watch the ad.

That’s my meditation story.

I’m that guy, but instead of working out, I’m meditating.

In my analogous journey, I’m probably in the awkward walking down the street phase, but still…at least I’m not on the couch. Well, I am on the couch when I meditate, but metaphorically speaking, I’m off the couch in the meditation journey.

This all started when I bought an Apple Watch as a Christmas present for myself. My wife got one through her company health plan and considering I’m the tech geek who wants the latest gadget, I couldn’t let her be the only one in the house with one of these things.

Then I found the Breath app.

That was my gateway drug.

I’d max it out at 5 minutes at a time. I wanted more.

Completely unrelated, I read 10% Happier. I had no idea it was about meditation. I just wanted to read about how to be happier. After devouring the book, I tore into Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics (also by Dan Harris).

I downloaded the Meditation by 10% Percent app. Over the past three months, I’ve managed to meditate almost every day. I can’t say I’ve reached enlightenment, but maybe I’ve begun to see a glimmer.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned in that time.

You have five minutes

I used to think I was too busy. The idea of meditation felt selfish. How could I do nothing when I didn’t think I had time for anything? Turns out there’s always five minutes somewhere. Even if it’s the few minutes in bed while falling asleep. Take a few minutes when you get to work before you turn on your computer. Sit in your car for a minute before going into the grocery store. Drinking coffee in Starbucks? Stare into space for 2 minutes and focus only on your breath. You’ve likely never seen anyone else do that have you? Know why? Because no one cares.

Anyway, you have the time. There’s a zen proverb that says “If you don’t have time to meditate for an hour everyday, you should meditate for two hours.” You don’t need that now. You need five minutes. You need one minute. Just start. You have the time.

No one cares

No one cares that I’m doing this. If I tried telling them how I’ve started a meditation journey, my friends and family will start to slowly back away and wonder which body-snatcher took me. That’s fine. I’m not doing this for them. I’m doing this for me. Most people just aren’t interested in someone else’s self improvement. They have their own crap to deal with. Second, no one cares that I do it. Imagine walking in on a co-worker taking five quiet minutes at their desk. Would you really care what they’re doing? What about at a Starbucks? You’ve got your own things to worry about and what’s it matter if someone is sitting quietly over their coffee.

Remember, it doesn’t matter what people think of you…because they’re not thinking of you.

Emotional Recovery

Meditation hasn’t turned me into some zen master. I still get frustrated in traffic. Just the other day, I found myself yelling at a co-worker. Not one of my prouder moments. I was so frustrated because I wasn’t understanding what she was telling me. Don’t worry, I apologized afterwards and she forgave me. We’re all good now.

I still have my emotions, but they subside faster.

I remember when I started wrestling in 7th grade. I could barely move after practice. I asked an 8th grader “does it get easier”. He said “no, never. But eventually you don’t hurt as much after practice.”

That’s meditation for me.

Life is still as hard as it ever was. But I find I can recover faster. I don’t seem to hold on to anger. I let go of the tension in my body quicker.

I’m still me and I can get back to the “me” that I like with less effort.

Near immediate relaxation

I never knew how much tension I kept in my hip flexors.

I meditate while sitting up in a chair. No lotus position for me. No incense or special mat. I just sit at my desk and either listen to nothing or to a guided meditation from my phone.

During these sessions, I focused on maintaining the least amount of tension necessary to keep me from falling over. I was fascinated by how much extra energy I was using in all parts of my body that was serving not purpose other than to cause me stress.

During my meditations, I’d systematically focus on my arms, legs, hip flexors, etc and do my best to just let go. A couple minutes would go by and I’d have to consciously think “relax” again. My muscle memory was so strong, I’d find different parts of me would tense up again.

So again and again, I’d release the tension. Relax my muscles.

This repeated practice over days and weeks has taught my body how to relax. I can’t believe I had to teach myself how to relax. That was something I thought I knew how to do.

When I sit at my desk, my legs aren’t as tense.

Now, when I get in bed, my muscles know how to let go. I’ve taught them how to do that.

Slight mood enhancement

When I run, I find that I’m in a better mood for up to three days afterwards. My legs may hurt and I may be tired, but I my resilience is stronger and my outlook is brighter. It took me quite a long time to figure that out.

Meditation is the same.

When I meditate, I don’t get this blissed out feeling that everything is perfect and just as it should be. I get just ever so slightly better.

Dan Harris named his book 10% Happier because as he says when trying to explain to a co-worker: “I do it because it makes me 10% happier.”

Maybe it’s confirmation bias or anchoring, but I find that to be about right.

I’m not walking around with a huge smile on my face, but I find that things don’t seem to bother me quite as much or if they do, not for as long.

Conclusion

Should you meditate? I don’t know. It’s not really for me to decide, but if you’re asking, I’d say to give it a shot.

Start with just 10 deep breaths. That will take about a minute of your time. Try that once a day. See what happens.

You might find that you like it. You may stretch that minute into 5 or 10 or 20.

It seems to help me.

I’m sure I have a long way to go, but it’s the journey, not the destination, right?